Many people spend a limited amount of time in cemeteries. While cemetery staff are quite used to walking amongst the beautiful monuments and taking care of the tranquil grounds, it’s understandable why many others are uncertain about what they’re expected to do—and not to do—in a cemetery. Let’s go through traditional cemetery etiquette.
6 Things to Do and Not to Do in a Cemetery
Do: Be respectful of others’ privacy.
Don’t: Take photos or videos of other graveside services.
Grieving families deserve respect and privacy. Do not take photos or videos of other people or graveside services without their permission in a cemetery, and do not intrude upon another family’s service without having been invited.
Do: Keep conversations down.
Don’t: Be overly friendly with strangers.
Cemeteries are meant to be quiet, peaceful, contemplative places, and we all need to do our part to keep them that way. While it’s okay to talk in cemeteries, provided you’re not interrupting a service, it’s best to keep your voice down.
It’s also important not to assume that everyone is comfortable with conversation. In general, if someone appears to be grieving, give them space and do not assume they want to engage.
Do: Stay on the path.
Don’t: Drive on the grass.
To uphold the integrity and care of the grounds, it’s vital that you follow the paths, particularly if you’re driving a vehicle. Also, follow all traffic signs and always watch for pedestrians. While families are grieving, their attention may not be on the road, so stay vigilant.
Do: Watch your children and leash pets.
Don’t: Walk over gravesites.
Families in cemeteries are deserving of respect, and so too are the loved ones they’re there to visit. Do not walk over burial sites or touch monuments or markers. These places are very special to those who loved the person who was buried there. Not walking over gravesites or potentially dirtying or breaking a monument is also helpful to the cemetery staff, as it enables them to keep their facilities beautiful and clean.
Just as you should watch your own footsteps, you should also be sure to guide your children away from gravesites. It may help to have a conversation with your children before visiting a cemetery to ensure that they understand cemetery grounds are not for playing and that gravestones are not for climbing. If the cemetery allows pets, be sure they’re on leash at all times and directed away from burial places.
Do: Clean up after yourself.
Don’t: Leave your litter behind.
Another important way to help keep a cemetery beautiful is by ensuring that you clean up after your time at the cemetery. Littering creates more work for the caretakers, and it is also disrespectful to both those who are buried there and the families who have come to mourn their loved ones. Anything you do not intend to leave as a gift to your loved one needs to come back out of the cemetery with you.
Do: Follow all cemetery rules.
Don’t: Bring objects that are not allowed.
Familiarize yourself with the cemetery rules before you arrive. Be sure you know when opening and closing are, and do not stay beyond the designated hours.
You should also be aware of any rules regarding decorations. If you want to bring something for your loved one, be sure it’s allowed before you do so. The caretakers will have to remove objects that are not allowed, which creates more work for them and leads to families feeling disappointed that their gifts had to be moved.